Body Image and Preteens

As an auntie to two young girls, I am aware of the body image issues they may deal with in the coming years. My eldest niece entered middle school this year and suddenly, fashion and appearance are more important to her than ever before.

I hope that my nieces remember who they are, and don't get caught up in worrying about what they look like, or what others think of them. Of course, I know, in today's world that's a big challenge.

I came across some great blogs that I think send the message I think all young girls need to hear:

Already Pretty - Where style meets Body Image - This blog talks about fashion as well as beauty and body image. Some will enjoy the daily outfit posts and fashion advice from Blogger, freelance journalist, communications professional, style and body-image writer, Sally McGraw. I particularly enjoy posts like this one on body image and this one on flaws. Another post that was a big hit with me is this one about being kind to yourself.

You'd Be So Pretty If... This blog is directed more toward moms (and aunties!) The way we view and talk about our own bodies impacts the way the young girls in our lives view their own bodies. The blog is based on the book You'd be So Pretty If...Teaching Our Daughters to Love Their Bodies -- Even When We Don't Love Our Own (Da Capo Lifelong Books, May 2009), former Shape magazine columnist Dara Chadwick's guide to breaking the mother-daughter cycle of bad body image.

Here are some additional resources related to tweens:
What Your Tween Sees in the Mirror - This article on Scholastic.com identifies the signs of body image issues in tweens and how you can help.
Tweens and Body Image: The Real Deal - This Huffington Post article is a brief survival guide for adults dealing with tweens and body image.
TweenParent.com -Your Parenting Source for the Preteen Years -  This website is a great source for all things related to preteens including helpful articles and even a dictionary to help you decipher tween lingo.


Confidence is a lifelong tool that is just as important in their youth as it will be in adulthood. I hope to help promote positive body image and instill the message in my nieces that they are beautiful, smart girls.

Keeping the Magic of Santa Alive

Do your nieces and nephews still believe in Santa Claus? Or are they getting to that age where they are beginning to question his existence?

At some point, children start hearing talk at school, on the bus, or on the playground, that Santa Claus isn't real. Often they will turn to their parents, or aunties, to find out the truth. Nowadays, kids can easily get online and start Googling for answers.

So what do you do if the little ones in your life come to you asking questions? There are a few ways to handle it.

One of the big questions kids may ask is how does Santa do it all by himself? With Santas at every mall posing for pictures and delivering gifts to children all over the world it couldn't be just one man going to all those places and making all those gifts! Of course Santa doesn't do it alone, he has LOTS of helpers! Those Santa look-a likes in the mall are helping Santa make his list and check it twice. He has Elves who help build the toys and watch over boys and girls to tell if they've been naughty or nice.

If you haven't heard of the Elf on the Shelf, the idea is that Santa sends the elf to watch the children to see whose being naughty or nice. Each night the elf reports back to Santa and reappears the next day in a different spot. I mentioned it in my blog of gift ideas here This is a great concept that gets kids excited about Christmas.

For another thing, how does Santa deliver packages to kids across the globe in a single night? Well, the answer is magic of course! Plus time zones help buy Santa a couple extra hours. On Christmas eve, follow Santa and his sleigh with the NORAD Santa tracker. You can see where in the world Santa and his reindeer are! Seeing his location may make it seem real for Santa skeptics.

For fun, visit NorthPole.com  to take a tour of Santa's village. This website is full of other fun and activities including recipes, games and coloring pages.

I personally like to believe that today's Santa Claus is our modern way of keeping the spirit of the real-life, historic Saint Nicholas alive. Perhaps a history lesson will help the skeptical children in your life understand where Santa came from and why gift giving is a part of our holiday season.


You can share with your nieces and nephews that its our belief in him that keeps him alive and delivering toys!

Last Minute Gift Ideas

I've always been a fan of children's gifts that are educational, or that encourage activity or creativity. In a time when most gifts for youngsters require batteries or monthly payment plans.... here are a few non-technological gifts your nieces and nephews can enjoy this holiday season.

  Journal - A simple and inexpensive gift, a journal makes a thoughtful gift particularly for tween and teens. As a long-distance auntie, I often struggle with feeling like I can't be there for my neices as they go through a transitional time in their lives - middle school, boys, cliques, school dances... a journal makes a nice outlet and a way to sort out feelings our nieces (or nephews) may not quite yet understand.

Scrapbook - What better way to capture memories than to create a scrapbook with your niece or nephew. Take photographs and mementos from a holiday or a special time you shared with your niece or nephew and create a scrapbook together! You can both look back on it and remember the occassion and the fun you had creating it!
American Girl Learn to Scrapbook Kit

Magnetic poetry - encourage creativity with magnetic poetry! These magnetic words let you piece words together to create poems or messages, yet another way our nieces/nephews can express themselves!

Kids' Magnetic Poetry

Elf on the Shelf - Another good one for youngsters that will help keep the magic of Santa alive! If you haven't heard of the Elf on the Shelf, the idea is that Santa sends the elf to watch the children to see whose being naughty or nice. Each night the elf reports back to Santa and reappears the next day in a different spot. The gift set includes the elf doll, hardbound children's book and keepsake box.

Elf on the Shelf

Easel - great for younger nieces and nephews to get creative! Kids can create art with paint, chalk, pens crayons and more. The two-sided easel allows two children to work at one time. Because it has a dowel to hold a butcher paper roll, just tear off once the child is done and pull the paper through to start on the next project! The downfall here is the paper and art supplies aren't included.

Melissa and Doug Deluxe Standing Easel

Turtle constellation night light - How cute is this? The Twilight Turtle nightlight lights up a nursery or child's room, creating a starry night sky. The nightlight displays eight major constellations (Big Dipper, Big Bear) and comes with an illustrated Star Guide and so has an eduational element as well. Also include a story about how the tutrtle, separated from his father, uses the constellations to find his way home. A soothing way to fall asleep and teach little ones about the sky above - love it!

Cloud b Twilight Constellation Night Light

Crayola Crayon maker - If I were a kid, I would want one of these! I love that crayola is continuously coming out with unique new toys to keep boys and girls creative. Kids can melt their favorite crayons and re-form them into their own one-of-a-kind crayons as they watch! They get to create their own creative color combinations and have crayons that are all their own! Best of all, this product is safe!

Crayola Crayon Maker

Rory's Story Cubes - I recently heard of this game, and I absolutely love the concept. Rory's Story Cubes is pocket-sized creative story generator. It comes with nine dice with different picture on each face. Roll the dice and use the images to create a story. The child can create a story on their own or play with multiple players so that each player adds to the story to collaborate on a story together! What I love about this game is that it promotes imagination and story-telling. Also seems like it would be a great confidence booster to help with literacy development. This game is great for all ages!
Rory's Story Cubes

War Horse - I love to give books as gifts and I've heard nothing but rave reviews for War Horse. I've heard its a great read for all ages and perfect for animal lovers.and it's unique because it's narrated by the horse. This book is on my wish list.  Would make a great companion gift with some movie passes to see the movie version with your niece or nephew!

War Horse






Happy shopping!!

Tis the Season...

The holidays are a hard time to be a long-distance auntie. It's difficult to spend the holidays apart from our nieces and nephews. Fortunately, this year I will be traveling to spend Christmas with my family.

But if you aren't able to be with your nieces and nephews this Holiday season you can still find ways to feel close to them. Consider sending tree ornaments as Christmas gifts. You can personalize them to reflect each child's personality or highlight something memorable that happened this year. Or get a photo frame ornament and fill it with a photo of you and your niece or nephew together.

This could become a yearly tradition and the ornaments can become part of their own collection that they will cherish!

Magazine Subscriptions

With Christmas around the corner, I've been trying to find a magazine that might be appropriate for both my nieces. While they're very close in age, they're two very different girls and different phases of their lives. At 9, Bailey is still into Barbies, and toys. At 11, Hannah is a tween and wants to do more grown-up things.

As I began searching for age-appropriate magazines, I found that while a 'tween' magazine seemed too mature for Bailey, other mags seemed like they'd be too young for Hannah. I started to realize that one magazine might not be appropriate for both of them.

Here's what I found in my research:

American Girl: Yes they still have American Girl Magazine! And it's just as you remember it from back in the day. I picked up a copy of the December 2011 issue and it's full of recipes, crafts and activities that I think are perfect for Bailey's creative side. I love that they featured art submitted by readers. A great feature in this issue is: "My Life on the Road," written by a 13 year-old girl who spent a year traveling Europe in an R.V. with her parents. The story of her family's adventures was complete with a map showing their route and the countries they visited.
I think this magazine is perfect for girls in the 7-12 range, though tween girls may find it "babyish."

Discovery Girls: I had heard of Discovery Girls but wanted to check it out for myself. I love that it features Real girls - there are no models - all over the mag including their: "Meet the Discovery Girls" section and "I'm in DG!" Readers will see girls, just like them, featured in Discovery Girls. The mag has an advice column, embarrassing moments, and fun quizzes just like teen magazines that might be appealing to girls, but that are more age-appropriate for tweens. This particular issue (October/November 2011) featured a lot about friendship, something that's very important to tween girls. I loved the "Be your Own Best Friend" article that advises girls on ways to stop putting themselves down.
Discovery Girls says for ages 8 and up, I think it will appeal most to tween girls.

Girls Life: The suggested age for Girls Life is 10-15. It has a similar look to teen magazines with fashion and beauty, and talk about guys. This magazine seems to have a more celebrity and appearance based focus, and seems more fitting for tweens and teens. Because of this I focused my attention on mags geared toward a slightly younger audience.








My first impression was that American Girl and Discover Girls were a bit thin, but for a good reason: NO advertisements! I like that both American Girl and Discovery Girls feature REAL girls and have a more down-to-earth feel. I think these are two magazines that my nieces will enjoy. I think there will be an overlap in appeal to both magazines, so that Hannah might appreciate American Girl and Bailey might find things she enjoys in Discovery Girls so that perhaps the girls will share with one another.

A magazine subscription is great gift that your nieces or nephews can enjoy all year 'round!

Three Women Win Nobel Peace Prize

Congratulations to all three women who won the Nobel Peace Prize. I wanted to share this story as it has only appeared briefly on the news and I love to share good news.

This year's Nobel Peace Prize has been awarded jointly to three women - Liberian President Ellen Johnson Sirleaf, Liberian Leymah Gbowee and Tawakul Karman of Yemen. They were recognized for their "non-violent struggle for the safety of women and for women's rights to full participation in peace-building work".

"We cannot achieve democracy and lasting peace in the world unless women achieve the same opportunities as men to influence developments at all levels of society," said Nobel Committee chairman Thorbjorn Jagland in Oslo.

The Committee said it hoped the three-way award "will help to bring an end to the suppression of women that still occurs in many countries, and to realize the great potential for democracy and peace that women can represent."

Only a dozen other women have received the Nobel Peace Prize among 85 men, as well as a number of organizations, who have won the prize over its 110-year history.

This is a victory for women's rights all over the world. Let's applaud these women for their achievements!

IlluStory

My niece Bailey is turning 9. This weekend is her birthday party, and I won't be there to celebrate. I won't be able to watch her open gifts or blow out the candles on her cake. Instead I will mail her a card, ship some gifts and call her afterward to find out how it all went. Birthdays aren't an easy time to be a long-distance aunt.

I've been searching for the right gift for her birthday. BarnesandNoble.com has a nice feature that allows you to search for toys, games and books by age. As I was searching for gifts online I stumbled upon Illustory -its a way for kids to write and illustrate their own story. It comes with the pages to write the story with room to draw the photos, markers for the artwork and a postage paid envelope to mail the manuscript.

The bound and finished book is returned within a few weeks, a professionally published version of your child's story! What a great way to express creativity and have a memorable gift. Bailey loves to tell stories, I think this is a great way to preserve one of them in a nicely bound book! I thought this was a nice gift idea and wanted to share. 

I hope she likes it!

Back to School

It's that time of year, back to school. Both my nieces are going to new schools this year, my eldest nice will be in middle school! I can't believe it...

I sent both the girls an email wishing them luck on their first day and reminding them not to be afraid to say "hi" to someone they don't know and try to make new friends.

My sister sent me photos of the girls leaving for their first day - they're so grown up! I spoke with Hannah tonight to find out how her first day of middle school went. She told me all about finding her classes in a much bigger school than she's used to, what her schedule is like and that she's taking Spanish for the first half of the year, then she'll be taking French.

I remember middle school as game changing. Suddenly there were cliques and the desire to fit in - making that adjustment isn't easy. I look back at my own junior high experience and hope that Hannah's is better than mine was. I know its all part of growing up, I just hope she will be strong and confident and that she'll remember: no matter what, remember who you are!

If you're far away from your niece or nephew on their first day, have mom or dad send you a picture as they leave for school in the morning! Send them a care package for back to school! It doesn't have to be packaged in a nice gift basket, just pick up a flat rate box from your local post office and fill it with the school supplies they'll need and a note for your favorite niece/nephew!

Here's to Tenacity, Resolve or just plain Stubbornness

Talk about a woman who never gives up. I recently read the novel The Help by Kathryn Stockett. The novel, which became a bestseller was also made into a movie, which did a great job of representing the book.

I was shocked when a friend shared with me this article in which Stockett herself writes about how her novel was rejected sixty times before finally getting published - sixty! Can you imagine getting sixty rejection letters stating that your book - that you poured your heart into - isn't good enough to be published. And can you imagine each time deciding not to give up, editing the manuscript yet again determined to make it better and sending it back to yet another literary agent only to face more rejections.

Kathryn writes: "In the end, I received 60 rejections for The Help. But letter number 61 was the one that accepted me. After my five years of writing and three and a half years of rejection, an agent named Susan Ramer took pity on me. What if I had given up at 15? Or 40? Or even 60? Three weeks later, Susan sold The Help to Amy Einhorn Books."

I'm always encouraged by people who try and try, even when the odds seem to be against them. This just shows that it pays to never give up on what you believe in!

As a reader, I'm so glad Kathryn Stockett didn't give up!

 

The Help, Movie Trailer

Soul Surfer: Bethany Hamilton

I love to share inspirational stories with my nieces - stories about girls and women overcoming the odds and exhibiting strength and courage. If you're looking for a good role model, look no further Bethany Hamilton.

During my nieces' visit, we watched the movie Soul Surfer, based on the true story of a young surfer who lost her arm in a shark attack.

Her dedication and bravery are inspiring. My nieces and I were rooting for Bethany, cheering her on as if we were there on the beach watching her surf.

I visited her website and discovered that Bethany not only overcame her fears to become a pro surfer, she is a humble and charitable person with extreme faith. And she has a Blog!  She shares her experiences as she travels, telling her story as well as health tips and healthy recipes. 

This is a blog worth sharing with my nieces!

Back to Long Distance

Yesterday was my last day with the girls on their visit in NY. Last night I dropped them off with my aunt, who will spoil them for another day or two before driving them back home.

I loved getting to spend some quality time with them. We got to play mini-golf, we spent a day at the beach, played board games and watched movies together and spent some time with their great-grandparents.

Yet our time together is also bittersweet. It only reminds me that I don't get to do these things with them nearly as often as like I'd like to. Just seeing them requires time off from work and an eight hour drive. Being a long-distance auntie requires a little extra effort.

I think I'd like to make a scrapbook of their visit. This way they can look back and remember all the things we did together. And while I'm putting the scrapbook together I'll get to feel close to them and remember the fun times we had.

Painting Pottery

Today, my nieces and I were able to get in touch with our creative side. I took them to an art studio where you can paint pottery. I've been wanting to try out this place for a while and I was excited to be able to finally take the girls there. 

They had lots of things to choose from; they had everything from cups, bowls, plates and serving platters to little animal figurines. They even had the plates that go over your light switch that you could personalize for your bedroom!

The hardest part was deciding what to paint. I wanted something functional, like a serving dish but wasn't feeling artsy enough to freehand an interesting design. I finally picked out a little frog:

Bailey painted a puppy:

And Hannah painted a cheerleader figurine done in the colors of one of her favorite teams, the Buffalo Bills:

They have to be glazed and fired in the kiln before we can go pick them up. We can't wait to see the finished product!

This was a fun creative activity and made for a fun day!

What was the Best part of your Day?

When I was a kid, my family sat down at the table together for dinner nearly every night. While I may not have appreciated it at the time, looking back I see the importance of that time of day when we could all slow down and talk about what had occurred that day. 

I don't see or talk to my nieces every day, but when I do talk to them, I try to learn about the things that go on in their daily lives. "How was your day today?" Fine. "What did you learn at school today?" Nothing. These one-word answers don't give me any insight.

So last night at the dinner table, my fiance asked a question that he was used to hearing around the dinner table with his family growing up: "What was the best part of your day?" 

Everyone around the table shares the best thing that happened that day. There is no opting out - everyone has to answer - and there's no being negative - Nothing good happened today. The best part of the day could be as simple as sleeping in an extra few minutes or getting a good grade on a test.

When I started to partake in this tradition with my fiance's family, I found the responses to this question often brought out stories of the day's events, rather than just one-word answers.

And that's exactly what happened when my fiance posed this question to the girls at dinner. At first they thought it was silly. But it got them to reflect on their day and recall at least one positive thing that happened or one thing they're proud of. 

Hannah told everyone the story about how we ran into her godmother at the library and got to have lunch with her and her two kids. Bailey shared her achievement that she won a board game we played that morning.

I think it's something they start to look forward to, knowing they'll have an audience at the dinner table to share the best part of their day. We encouraged them to try this question at home!

So even if you can't all sit around the same table for a meal, ask in the car or at bedtime: "What was the best part of your day?" 

And don't forget, you have to answer too!

Summer Fun

I'm excited to say I'm borrowing my nieces for a few days!

The girls stayed with my fiance and I for a whole week last summer and we had so much fun. We took them to a theme park, to the beach and they each got to ride a horse for the first time!

I can remember as a kid going back to school after summer vacation and having to share what I did over the summer. I remember feeling like I never had anything cool or exciting to share - no fun vacations or trips to Disney like my classmates. I hope after a few days in NY, my nieces will go back to school with some fun stories to tell.


I picked them up yesterday and they will be staying with us for a few days. After we got in last night, we took a swim in the pool, watched The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants together, ate dinner and had time for a board game before bed. The game was Sorry and I was a little worried that the competition between siblings would create problems. But in the end we all got bumped back to Start at one point or another, and they realized it was all just part of the game. In the end, everyone had a good time. I wished I lived close enough to have a game night with my nieces all the time!

Today was a gloomy, rainy day and we needed a rainy day activity. So we spent the day at Rochester Museum and Science Center and watched the film Dolphins at the Strasenburgh Planetarium.


We had so much fun playing Sorry last night we decided to play another board game tonight. This time we played The game of Life.


Not a bad way to spend a rainy day!

Staying in Touch

As you know, I’m always looking for ways to stay connected to my two young nieces who live 400 miles away. I tried the pen-pal thing but it flopped – they’re forgetful when it comes to writing back! I periodically send care packages with games, books and activities. In the springtime I sent a whole box full of things to encourage them to enjoy the great outdoors: jump ropes, sidewalk chalk, water bottles (BPA free of course!) and even a soccer ball! But one of the greatest tools has been the more technologically advanced options: email and Skype.

While hand written letters and postcards are nice, it’s so easy to send my nieces a little electronic note to not only keep in touch with what’s happening in their lives but to share things happening in my life as well.

Skype has been a great way to interact. Because of Skype, I got to see my youngest niece, “Bailey” perform the latest dance she learned. But even Skyping can be difficult to do when we all get caught up in our day-to-day lives. It seems that setting up regular Skype "dates" might be the way to go.

Another fun way to stay in touch is through something like "Kinect" that will allow you to play games together. Unfortunately this isn't an option for me, I have Xbox, they have Wii. I've been searching online for age-appropriate games that we can play together but haven't had any luck so far. If you know of any online games that have this capability, please leave a comment, I'd love to know about it!

Aiming High

As women in the United States of America, we may take our freedoms for granted. In this country we have the ability to do things that women in other parts of the world don’t: marry whom we choose, own property, get an education, drive.

That’s why one article I recently read got my attention – in fact, it was the photo that caught my eye first: four Afghan women wearing head coverings and military uniforms. 

The headline read: “Afghan officers are aiming high.”

These women are training to become their country’s first females piloting military helicopters.

“We’re going to open the door for ladies in Afghanistan,” said second Lt. Sourya Saleh. “It’s a big deal for us to open this door for the others. That these other ladies who have the dream and think they can do it, we want to show them.”

 

These women are fighting against the odds to pursue their dreams.

While Afghanistan remains a male-dominated culture, women there now go to school and work in offices. Having women pilots in the military will be a huge step not just for Afghanistan but for the entire Middle East.

 

With all of the negative news coming out of the Middle East, I’m excited to be able to share this story.

I wish these women the best of luck in their journey.

You can read the full story here

Ode to Abby Wambach and the U.S. Women's Soccer Team

Although our girls on the U.S. Soccer Team didn’t win the Women’s World Cup, their achievement is still one to be admired.

I felt hometown pride as Abby Wambach, a native of my hometown, tied the game against Brazil which they went on to win, and scored the winning goal over France and went on the World Cup Finals. Abby Wambach and her teammates are wonderful role models for young girls, exhibiting strength and determination. 

And what I love about Abby is her humble, down-to-earth attitude. Even winning an ESPY for “Best Play” of the year didn’t distract her from her goal.

“(You can’t) lose sight of what’s important, and what’s important is sticking together as a team, which has united us and we’ve grown stronger, to be honest.” Wambach was quoted as saying.

Abby may have scored the winning goal against France, affording the  U.S. team to go on for a chance at the World Cup, but she recognizes it was a team effort.

“If you have a ‘we’ mentality instead of the ‘me’ mentality, you’re more likely to win.”

That’s a mentality that applies both on the soccer field and in life.

Read more about Abby here in the Rochester Democrat and Chronicle 

Girls Rule!

There’s no denying girls are growing up faster these days, and they’re being inundated by the media and their peers with negative messages about the way they should look and the way they should act. How can we combat those messages and remind the girls we love to stay true to themselves?

I’ve been searching for ways to reinforce that message for my young nieces, through books and movies with positive female protagonists and inspirational quotes.

I came across a book called “Girls Rule” by Ashley Rice.

The one you see here is the updated edition and it’s a slim book full of positive writings, poems and fun drawings just for girls. There are several other books in the series, narrated by Penelope J. Miller, with themes of following your dream and believing in yourself. Other titles include: "You Go Girl... Keep Dreaming" and "You Are an Amazing Girl: A Very Special Book About Being You and Making Your Dreams Come True."

I gave this book to my niece “Hannah” for her eleventh birthday and she LOVES it. I bought myself a copy so we can talk about it and share our favorite parts. I hope that perhaps it will be a springboard for some fun and insightful conversations.

“Girls Rule” covers uniqueness, courage, friendship and handling change. This is just the thing I was looking for. I will be checking out other books by Ashley Rice as future gift possibilities! You can check out her website here: http://www.ashleyrice.com/

Definition of a Long Distance Auntie

I’m an auntie because my sister has two beautiful daughters who are now 11 and 8 years old. I’m a long-distance auntie because they live 400 miles away.

I don’t yet have children of my own so when I held my eldest niece for the first time and felt the weight of her fragile body in my arms, I was thrilled to be an aunt. I was only 14 when she was born and I was so proud I hung pictures of her in my school locker. I felt the same way when her sister came two years later.

I still remember the days of Blue’s Clues and Elmo, bottle feeding and babysitting. But those days are long gone any my nieces are becoming young girls.

About three years ago, they moved out of state and being away from them has only gotten harder as time has passed. I worry that I’m missing out on their lives; I worry that they’re going to grow up and forget about me.

I’m looking for ways to stay connected with the girls now that they are 400 miles away. I’m searching for inspirational stories to share with them and ways to send them positive messages as they grow and go through their tween and teen years. I want them to know that they are bright and beautiful and strong and that they can do anything they put their minds to.

I hope this blog will be a great way for me to work through my struggles and share my triumphs and ideas of connecting with the young ones in our lives who are far away. But I hope this may also be a resource for mommies, aunties and god mommies everywhere, whether the children they love live near or far, who are looking for ways to reach out and connect.